Seeing Sideways Final

Posted: June 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

     I am a part-time worker full-time student. I am a white male that lives at home even though I am nearly 25.  I make pennies on the dollar and last year I saw 8k dollars.  When I started school I was living on my own with a few roommates and stuck in a job as a janitor for the post office.  Now making $ 11.77 an hour wasn’t bad money for my age, but I was bombarding my body with hazardous chemicals and potential blood born pathogens daily.  I decided to move back to Indiana from San Antonio a year and a half ago and have been going full steam with school ever sense.

            The major difference from then and now is that I actually have a degree that I’m pretty good at.  In newmedia I’m focusing on content creation and exploring ideas of mine to create a digital narrative.  Part of the reason I didn’t drop seeing sideways was the examination of the creative process.  With SS I’ve learned, and expected to learn, my limitations and roadblocks are more psychosomatic than anything.  Knowing this, I have the potential to exceed what I could have created before SS.

One of the limitations I have with school is that I live so far away from it.  Being on 146 it takes me about 35 minutes to drive to school and only making 8k a year most of my money goes to gas. Also since I do work weekends that cuts into time I would have to do assignments, so I’m always trying to get my stuff done and turned in as quickly as possible. I can’t really control where my parents live and don’t have the means to be self-sufficient, but that is something I could work towards.

     If I were to change anything about my path through new media I would probably make the directed study one of the first classes a new media student took.  With directed study it told the scope of my chosen path and showed the time and effort it takes to complete it.  One of the focus of this class is making yourself employable which is the whole reason we’re in college.  Also I would probably have a pamphlet or brochure, maybe even a lecture series that explained the skill set that new media is trying to develop.  That way student has access to which programs to focus their attention on so that when they are in classes they have more familiarity with them.  The fact that we have access to is amazing, also the fact that we get the adobe suite for freakin free is also amazing.

One of the things I’m not getting through the new media track is help with my art skills.  I’ve paired my new media classes with the open art classes in Herron.  It seems the focus of new media is to teach from modules and pre-packaged lessons that self exploration and creativity are limited.  Instead of developing better composition skills through exploration its put widget A here, do a lopp-de-loop, save html file and upload.  Of course on the other side of this it is my job to use the concepts that I learn in these classes, it would be more beneficial if my teacher were to enforce more of a client like relationship where they say what they want, give a few pointers on what to give them, and then let the class figure out how to present it.  Then we as a class would judge on which design best suited the teacher’s pitch.  This would give us more insight on how the real world is rather than the world of academia.

     Of course my critique of the plan is only based on what I’ve had so far. I know nothing of the stress on the capstone.  And even the capstone to me seems like branding.  Also it has been hard to develop student to student relationships. It seems like there is a disconnect.  Each student is their own island.  Part of creativity is sharing your ideas and it has been hard for me to find that person or persons to develop a peer group to best enforce my skills.  So my re-envisioned version of new media would have more clubs and public relations-like things that bring the community together.  The skillsets would be more cut-and-dry to encourage play on those platforms so the students would be more proficient.  And peer-groups would be established to best help students develop their capstones and marketability.

     The final thing I’d have implemented is the right for a teacher to drop a student before the drop date.  From talking to various teachers it seems like teachers know which students are only there physically, while mentally they’ve checked out.  Being able to drop them would lower their class sizes and negatively affect their pay, yes but I believe that the quality of the student should be nurtured not the quantity of them.  Some students are straight out of high school and the learning curve, or rather the work ethic curve, seems to be too steep and it would be beneficial for them to have that burner under them so they develop a work ethic. I know that IUPUI has academic probation, but it takes too long to get kicked out or pushed in a way that you have to reapply.  I know that this would increase the dropped rate, or rather creates a forced drop rate, but simply put. College isn’t for everyone.  I know I was pushed initially into college before I could see the benefits of college. Therefore I didn’t do so well.  Forced drops would help the student grow up a bit and take their classes seriously.  If the teacher became the boss this would shift the responsibility from the teacher being the servant of the students to the student being the masters of their own learning.  If there are real and painful consequences for not taking college a little more serious than I might have taken it serious the first time I went through. I might even be done right now.


In order to best show my fear of the unknown I showed the class this video:  I expected the class to be slightly disturbed at the notion of a NASA scientist revealing his version of the truth on aliens.  While the video was playing I noticed people were more agitated and when the alien “transition” noise I saw a few eyes go wide. What was fascinating was what happened after class.  A few classmates came up to me and gave their ideas of what is going on with life in space.  And it seems i’m not the only one who thinks there might be life out there in the black.

If I were to do this again I probably wouldn’t preface the video and  maybe show the gruesome pictures that show victims of alien abductions dissected and mutilated after illegibility being “probed”.

Of the experiences and presentations I’ve seen a few stood out. But the one that was the most visceral was Cabana’s inverse proportion on religion and the cognitional perception of death.
It would seem that everyone thinks of death, but only some are more forward about death.  It would seem that those who are more religious aren’t as worried about death according to the study.  It would be interesting to see where I fell into the graph.

Link  —  Posted: June 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

Uncomfortable shifting, maybe laughter, hopefully some eye dilation.

Without limitations

Posted: May 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

Without the self-limitation of lack of content creation I’d probably be a stand-up comedian. Maybe a writer. I’ve got ideas, fuck you if you think I don’t. Maybe i’d be a digital painter. Maybe i’d make a great publicist. Fuck all, I’ve got no idea. Maybe i’ll invent a hang-over machine. A machine that implements the symptoms of having a hangover to unsuspecting victims.

  Any line of work I do I want to be able to say the word “natzi party” and people around me go “WOoO!! We’re having a Natzi Party!”

     A great whir, pop and smack and bleak black.  Cast over the confines of four walls a door shutters.  Growl amongst the pitch.  Ribs shake at the effort while sinew makes it’s rigid dance.  One second freight, two seconds after  a lack of comprehension. What shakes the night so violently that I am now unslept? As vigorous as that initial cacophonous tear, the seconds after seep the breath from you. These are the moments fear is smelted from. Forged from unknowing. What attacks at night dare occur?


Posted: May 16, 2012 in Uncategorized

  Perception and observation, while similar, are as different as passive and active triggers.  For this assignment I tried to alter my perception by doing things I wouldn’t normally do. So far I have three examples:
   First i’ll start with one of the more hilarious things. Let me start off by saying I’m trying to alter my perception of myself through actions and other people’s perceptions of me by these actions.  Let me also say that i’m terrified of my girlfriend’s father.  Alright, maybe not “terrified”, just extremely concerned and aware of what he thinks of me at any given moment. The man is rather polite and generous with praise. I just noticed that I defer to an equally polite manner. In this first perception experiment while being greeted with a hand shake, a tradition I’ve established. For it’s harder to hate someone who shakes your hand I say… Seldomly. So he goes in for the typical hand shake. I give him one of these:


  Let’s just say it was hilarious to see him squirm. And now we have a story to share. So perception can be a shared view of an event.

    Second while walking to Perkins at around 2am I was approached by a rather tattered looking man.  When we got out of the sleek silver four-door foreign beast that is my girlfriend’s car we witnessed a couple being asked for some money by this man. The couple immediately became defensive and refused to give the man anything. “I live in my van and I just need four dollars to–” is all he got out when the larger dark fellow exiting Perkins moved his companion(wife, girlfriend, I won’t presume to know the relative ties) away from the man squelching the beggar’s advances.  Both me and my girlfriend suspected that we were going to be asked and prepared for it. I took point, so to say, so that he’d ask me first. I told him I only had a card and that If Perkins had a cash back option i’d get back to him. That is to say saying i’d be willing to help under the scope of what I had. When we got inside I inquired about other patrons being asked for four dollars. To which the server said “no.” Luckily my girlfriend had a tenner in her purse which we broke into smaller bill and I gave him five. The man’s elation was thick enough to drizzle over the french toast I was thinking about getting. This was the second time in a few days I did the above handshake. I also did something that I wouldn’t do, I introduced myself putting myself out there. As if to say, “My name is Matthew, how can I help?”  So perception of identity can give humanity.  In all likelihood this man bought some illicit material to inject or smoke, or so my cynicism would have me think.  Currently that part is at war with the prospect that this man took this money, bought gas like he originally claimed and I helped elevate this man’s hope and perception on humanity.

   Thirdly, lastly, and finally I took part in the diablo 3 midnight release.  Normally I would go to these, stick to myself, and get my prized 9×2.5 inch box impregnated with my future and scurry back to my hovel and load the contents of that fantastical mind child of blizzard into my franken-machine and click away until my eyes glazed over at the sheer pixelated goodness that is Diablo 3. Instead I decided to give a little of myself to these pc mongrels that littered the Hamilton Town Center GameStop game accessory peddler and disc whorehouse.  I decided to pre-game the event Matthew style.  I intentionally talked to the 10 people there, bought drinks(from McDonald’s), and brought my hookah to smoke outside the gateway that separated me from my pre-ordered and paid for prize.  I noticed that people were very pleasantly surprised to see two green lawn chairs with patrons playing terrible flatulating dubstep and smoking from a hookah.  So my actions changed people’s perception of the usual inhibited tight-lipped releases of the past.



What do you remember?

Posted: May 15, 2012 in Uncategorized

What do I remember? I remember the feel of the smooth paper under my palm while trying to articulate an image I had just seen a few minutes before that afternoon. I remember the pull of my inner thighs as the tendons became taut while sitting on the concrete floor. I most of all I remember thinking, “did I turn off the iron?”

Each of these things are aspects of my perception of reality that one could certainly relate to, but won’t feel the specific feelings and thoughts I had at that point in time and space. Each of these sensory concepts make me uniquely me while also binding me to those who have similar senses.

P.S: I did turn off the iron.